75 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember
For when you need the laughs to come fast.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. These are the funniest jokes about all 50 U.S. states.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. If you got a laugh from this, check out these other math jokes.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?” Don’t miss these other hilarious knock-knock jokes.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you’re probably a genius.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space. Don’t miss these other science jokes every nerd will appreciate.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything. Here are some more of our favorite chemistry jokes ever.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory. These are our favorite jokes of all time.
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it. Check out more funny puns here.
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes. Check out the favorite hilarious jokes of famous comedy writers.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
“Curses! Foil again!”
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks— I’ll never part with it! Here are some dad jokes that will make you laugh out loud.
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta. If these short jokes are giving you a laugh, here are more dumb and funny jokes.
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse. Found that funny? Get a chuckle at these corny jokes.
What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador. Don’t forget to read some of our favorite dog jokes.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen. Here are 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away. These daily life jokes will give you even more to laugh about.
Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse code. For more short jokes, here are 21 anti-jokes you’ll actually find funny.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it was cool.
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving little messages around the house. Next, celebrate National Tell-a-Joke Day with these 25 corny jokes.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised. Make sure to remember these 25 clever jokes that instantly make you sound smart.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor? If you’re a word nerd, here are 20 grammar jokes that are hilarious.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. Don’t miss 36 more math jokes that will have you cracking up.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I poured root beer in a square glass.
Now I just have beer. Next, read up on 15 witty bar jokes anyone can remember.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications. Like animal jokes? Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at.
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet. Don’t miss these 16 physics jokes every science lover will appreciate.
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew-chew train. Try these other silly jokes for kids.
Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?
It needed help figuring out its problems.
Why can’t male ants sink?
Keep the up the laughs with these classic dad jokes.